One last thanks! - BKJN John

I'd like to say thank you to everyone who took time out of their day to read my words here. I always tried to have something important to say, or something to brighten your day.

I would also like to note that the 360 Martial Arts team raised $2,500 for Habitat for Humanity. Thanks to everyone that gave money, broke boards, attended the 360 spa day, or ate some cookies to help raise some money for this cause.

I would like to thank everyone for their encouragement and kind words.

Additionally, below are some links to some videos of the 360 Martial Arts black belt test. Above is a picture from my spear form practice. It's a lot better then the picture of me cracking myself on top of my head with the spear.

Thanks,

Bu Kwan Jang Nim (BKJN) John
AKA Master John

360 Martial Arts Videos
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAqlCtVrLyKWWLO0xs9CH6BBz1D6DRvOz

KJN Pat: One last post

October 18, 2015

The journey that began 10 months ago has come to an end. That day that seemed so far off at the beginning has come and gone.  Our Mastery Test was this weekend: technical testing and conditioning on Saturday and the show at the Atlantis on Sunday. I can't even totally remember what life was like before there was so much focus on training and preparation. I wrote on my calendars starting on the 19th "I am free".  I don't really know what that means.  One of my boys asked if I was going to continue with my martial arts.  How could I not?  It is part of who I am, and it is through the journey to 5th degree black belt that I came to have a fuller appreciation of who I am and all that I am capable of doing.  

At the end of the show tonight, the Mastery team had to break bricks rather than boards.  Uncharacteristically, I was thrilled at the prospect of bricks rather than boards.  For my 1st degree test I had to break one brick, and I did.  For my second degree black belt test I had to break two and I didn't.  For my third degree I had to break 3 and I did.  We didn't do bricks on our 4th degree test.  At last year's black belt show, I chose to break two bricks because I hadn't accomplished that yet.  It was easy.  So when faced with the prospect of breaking 4 bricks, I thought I had that covered.  That was until I thought about how high the bricks would be stacked compared to how tall I am and whether I would be able to get high enough above them to put the force of my body into the break.  But I quickly dismissed that and decided I'd face the 4 bricks and see what happens.   I didn't break my four bricks. I gave it four tries and then stepped away.  KJN Paul suggested an elbow break rather than a palm strike, but  I didn't feel confident enough about an elbow break to try it.  Although it was a disappointment,  I remembered back to KJN Tony Thompson counseling me after my defeat on the ropes course the first day of our 4th degree test.  He told me that if I thought I would not ever come up against things I couldn't do I was in for a lot of grief.( that's the gist of what he said; I can't remember the exact words, though I imagine they're written in one of my journals) There will be those things.  But they don't define me.

I could dwell on not breaking my bricks. But to do that would negate all the things I did do, all the ways I showed up for this mastery test and all the reasons I have to be proud.  That would be wrong and undeserved.   There will always be room for improvement and things I wish I had done better or differently.  Those experiences can be a spring board for learning.  A motivation to look at the things I can change and recognize the things I can't.  That would be a valuable purpose: to learn and grow rather than devalue and criticize.  I've done enough of that.  Not breaking my bricks doesn't mean I don't deserve my  new rank.  Recognizing there are things I could do differently and being open to the opportunity to try again- maybe at next year's black belt show- gives value to this experience. 

I am a KJN.  I told KJN Paul I wouldn't ever make it to first degree.  He didn't believe that.  I'm glad in the end I didn't either.    The journey changes but is not over.  I can't even begin to imagine what's in store but I know I won't want to miss even one minute of it.

Wow that's a lot of stuff - SBN John

Here's a list of accomplishments I needed to compile for KJN Paul. Wow!

SBN John - Mastery Training

Physical Training
29 Weeks of Training since April
265 Miles of Running
82 Miles of Biking
15,150 Push ups
18,500 Crunches
74 Martial Arts Classes
23 Sparring Classes

Additional Activities in 2015
5K Leprechaun Race (Placed 106 out of 1201)
5K North Valleys Zombie Run Race (Survived!)
170 Mile Reno Tahoe Odyssey Relay Race - (Team placed 55 out of 250)
10 Mile Race - Reno 10 Miler Race (Placed 69 out of 311)
8K Race - Reno Journal Jog (Placed 87 out of 439)

Additional Mastery Training in 2014 and 2015
Multiple Archery Training Classes
Rappelling at Donner Lake
Tahoe Treetop Adventure
2 Day Survival Training
Tactical Gun Training
360 Staff Form on top of a Volcano. No joke! On top of Cinder Cone at Lassen National Park
Rappelling and Spelunking Adventure
Volunteer for Habitat For Humanity
Raise money for Habitat For Humanity
180 Foot GSR Swing

Additionally

I teach 6 classes a week, and I live 25 miles from the school. Wow.

My test is tomorrow, October 17th. Wish me luck!

BKJN Pat: It's the final countdown

October 11, 2015

Hard to believe that what was once so far off to seem real is now upon us.  This time next Sunday we will have tested, presented a performance at the Atlantis and if all goes according to plan, have received our new belts and ranks.  I will be a KJN; a  rank I never imagined I would receive.  But as KJN Paul has reminded me on several occasions, I never imagined getting a 1st degree.

I started training with West Coast Martial Arts in the spring of 1989.  It wasn't my intention to "train".  My plan was to take the introductory classes so  my children would stop bugging me to try it out.  Our 16 year old foster son had seen an ad in the TV guide for 3 introductory lessons and a uniform.  He asked to sign up and before long all the boys in our family were involved.  When my job at Mt Rose Ski Resort ended for the season, I was out of excuses and they were relentless.  I really only went because I told them when I had more time I would.  We've lost touch with the young man who started it all. We gave him a home and family for a short time; he gave me a life changing gift.  I tested for my 1st degree December 4, 1993 and my 4th degree July 19, 2003. In a journey that now spans 26 years, I am testing for 5th degree October 17, 2015.

For me, my martial arts training hasn't just been about learning to punch and kick.  Oh I've learned that, but that isn't what has been the most meaningful for me.  It's been about finding a community that challenged me to grow in ways I never imagined, support that never wavered, life time friendships, developing a strong mind along with a stronger body, finding confidence, self respect, and an appreciation of who I am and all that I am capable of doing and being. There really aren't words to adequately express all that I've gained. I know I am where I am in my life's journey because of my martial arts experience..  I'm so glad I didn't stop at the introductory lessons.

I have a feeling this week will be no less of an adventure than all the others so far.  One thing for certain though,  there's a Mastery test at the end of it.  As SBN Terri reminded me today, it's time to BELIEVE!!!

Masters Test Week - SBN John

My last week as a Sa Bum Nim (SBN)

This is the final week of preparation before my Mastery test. It's been a long year with thousands of push ups and crunches and hundreds of miles biked and run. I'm glad the test is this week because my body's check engine light is on. I'm strained, stressed, and my muscles feel as if they are easily injured and/or pulled. Besides training for the test, I've been picked to be on the 360 demo team during the 360 Black Belt show. So, there are additional techniques and combos to be practiced, executed, and performed.

To reiterate, my test will require me to perform the following:
Execute and explain my very own Muay Thai Combinations.
     - I have six separate combinations with techniques that I love, and that I can perform at a high level. For example, one of my combinations contains a rear leg side kick to a pop back kick on the same target location. I've practiced this combination for a few years now, and it feels great when it lands on target.
Perform a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu flow roll pattern.
     - My flow roll pattern consists of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu techniques I have picked up in the last ten years and from a variety of instructors and martial artisits. One of my favorite techniques was shown to me by ex-UFC champ Matt Hughes at a martial arts seminar. It's a knee bar while escaping out of an opponent's guard.
Perform my own open form. 
     - The form can be empty handed form, a traditional form, or a weapon form. I chose to create and perform my very own weapon form. To go along with my weapon form is some music I found many years ago. It has hard guitar riffs that I can synchronize many of my moves to. It  has a cresendo and finale that will turn my form into a story. (PS For now, I'm keeping the weapon secret from my wife. So, sorry I won't say the weapon. I want her to be surprised when she see's me use it at the test.)
Demonstrate my knowledge and use of weapons.
     - I plan to demonstrate my use of knives and kali sticks at the test.
Demonstrate and perform whatever else KJN Paul throws our way.
     - This is my first mastery test. So, KJN could have us perform any manner of techniques, kicks, or forms, and he could have us perform many of the lower belt techniques.

Also in the past couple years, the masters testers have already performed the following:
- Rappelling off a cliff face at Donner Lake.
- Climbing through the trees, rappelling, and traversing the obstacles in the Tahoe Treetop Adventure park.
- Survival training where we were only allowed a pocket knife and a metal canteen.
- Firearms training where we were run through various reloading and shooting drills.
- Rappelling 250 feet into an underground cave. Then, spelunking throughout the underground cave system.
- Swinging from the top of a 180 foot swing at the Grand Sierra Resort.
- Volunteering for Habitat for Humanity and raising money to help support their cause.
- Additionally, I have been teaching about 6 martial arts classes a week. I teach students of all ages, levels, and skill.

So, this test and the last few years has been a life journey and adventure that I've had to embrace and love. or it would have worn me down. I'm glad I was able to persevere and continue where others might have quit. I'm also glad I have a loving and supporting family and network of friends that allowed me to train consistently.

Amazingly, I've been able to experience this great adventure with some great people.

My fellow Masters belt testers:
SBN Terri
SBN Andrew
SBN Wes
BKJN Pat.

My hard working daughter and loving daughter
CGN Saige

And the first degree testers that I've been able to mentor, train, and push
Torry
Lance
Turbo

I would also like to thank KJN Paul for putting us on this journey, and I would like to thank those that have read my thoughts here.

Thanks,

SBN John

(soon to be Bu Kwan Jang Nim - BKJN)

SBN Terri - The ZEN of testing!

Between my physical ailments and traveling, I've spent a lot of time mentally practicing my stand up, ground, forms, weapons.  There is a lot to be said about mental practice and observation.  It has helped me understand the purpose of certain techniques and think about the flow of things.  It is certainly no substitute for actually physically practicing.  But,there IS value to sitting back and taking the time to think and observe in addition to practice.  

As I reflect on this year and preparing for this test, I have learned so much.  The training helps me both physically and mentally.  The 360 team is great - we have shared a number of challenges together creating some of the best moments of my life. 

Just another week to go and we'll see if this preparation will have been sufficient!

BKJN Pat: Hiatus almost over; back to reality

October 5,2015.8


There probably isn't a greater escape from all things of normal life than a trip to Universal Studios and DisneyWorld and Epcot in Orlando . That's where I've been the past week, enjoying my bi-annual trip with my sister. Today is my  last day. Tomorrow I head to the airport at 11am Florida time (8am Reno time) and arrive back home, back to reality, which in itself has been a bit altered since April 1, 2015 about 8 pm.

On Wednesday I'll find out how effective mental practice/preparation is. Wednesday I hit the ground running, putting in all the practice I can for the final 10 days before testing. I haven't done push ups or sit ups or run since September 24. I've done my stand up combos floating down the lazy river and gone through my flow roll in that same location. I did do one set of 50 push ups in the shallow end of the pool.  I did however walk 148,617 steps this week. Almost triple what I normally walk in a week. I hope that counts for something.-)

I feel I'll have the energy for the last push. What has seemed almost endless is coming to an end. I can dig in and do what needs to be done. It's not anywhere near as long as it's been. For that I'm grateful.

There are two parts of testing that I'm not totally looking forward to: performing my open form and conditioning. In terms of all that I've done, these are both a blink. I'm working on remembering that.
Back to reality. But right now there's the Boardwalk, Hollywood Studios, the Magic Kingdom  possibly a sake bomb and many steps in my immediate future. I'm going to be in the moment, where I am right here, right now and let tomorrow take care of itself .

BKJN Pat: Not my typical week

September 28,2015

The past week was not at all typical of my training weeks. There were more days where life intruded on my training schedule and I had to forgo push ups,sit ups and running in order to meet the other obligations (aka work responsibilities). Then at the time on Sunday evening that I would normally be sitting down to write my post, I was on an airplane from LA heading to Orlando. Strange time for s vacation you might say. But this is part of finding balance between martial arts and the other aspects of my life.

Every couple of years, my sister plans trips for us. Because of thstt, I actually get to spend time with her and I've gotten to go places that I only thought I'd ever dream about going to. We have such a great time together and the memories of our trips are some of the best ones I have. This trip was planned before I was even sure I'd be testing.

So this past week I had to cut myself some slack and accept that I was doing the best I could.  This next week in Orlando I'm going to practice being present in the moment, enjoying my time with my sister, stepping out just briefly from the rigid training schedule with the intention that when I get back I'll be rejuvenated and ready to hit it hard for the remaining time before our test.

BKJN Pat: The roller coaster ride is slowing down

September 20, 2015

I celebrated my 60th birthday yesterday. That as much as anything means our test is almost here. When I thought about testing for my 5th degree, I realized with some amazement, that I would be 60 when I tested.  For someone who was never even going to stick with martial arts for a 1st degree, this is nothing short of amazing. My last Black Belt  test was 12 years ago; my first Black Belt test was December 4, 1993. A lot has changed since my first degree test, but some of the struggles/challenges have remained.

This Mastery Test has given me an opportunity to once again confront my demons : all the ways I keep myself from embracing who I am and all that I'm capable of doing. Despite evidence to the contrary, I continually face my own self defeating words of "I can't " or "I'm not good enough".  It has been a war I've waged almost daily since our training began . The emotional highs and lows, really the lows, often left me in despair and ready to give up. The highs were much shorter only to be followed by another plummet. It's  only now, this close to the finish do I feel I've begun to make some real headway.

Last Saturday I strained my shoulder helping a friend move a washer and dryer. I didn't notice any pain but by Sunday morning I was concerned that I might have done some damage.  Sunday is my day off, so I was content to let my shoulder rest. I decided then that I would see how things felt Monday morning when I got ready to start my regiment of 200 push ups a day. Monday morning I tried doing my push-ups and quickly realized I'd probably do more harm than good so I decided not to do them. I added 100 more sit ups to my workout.  A significant injury at this time could be a game changer, so I made the decision to not do push-ups the next day as well. When I tried on Wednesday, I only did 50. The following days I was able to do 150 without much of a problem.  I didn't beat myself up over taking those days off. That in itself is a big improvement. I kept up with my training but remained mindful of the need to be cautious and do no further damage. Taking this in stride, recognizing what I needed and doing it might not seem like a big deal, but for me it is.

As a result of working with what was going on in my body rather than fighting it, I didn't find myself on the all too familiar emotional roller coaster ride. I did what I could, let go of the rest, and by the end of the week I was back training at a level that made me know "I can do this!"

These final weeks are about getting in the repetition and honing my skills so that I will perform
at the level deserving of a KJN.   I can do this.

The posters for the test were put up in the school this week. Another sign that were closing in on the finish line. Seeing my name along with all the other testers on a poster that says "A Master's Journey" gave me chills. This has been an incredible journey, taking me places I didn't know I'd go and bringing me to the place where I appreciate who I am.

This week's training:
Push ups :  350
Sit ups:  1,300
Running: 3.04 miles
Cycling: 19.4 miles
Classes: 1 Black Belt, 4 private lessons, 1 stick class, 1 Special training

You are the sum of all YOUR training. - by SBN John

We ask our little dragons, "How do you get a black belt?"

In a multitude of squeaky voices, they yell, "Never Quit!"

In our art, a 1st degree black belt, is a master of the basics.

So, if a black belt never quits, "What can they achieve?"

Eventually.....Mastery level. 

Let me digress for a second.

Most of us have a hand held device that can be used to quickly find most facts ever discovered by man kind. This is a powerful tool. However, we wouldn't say that we are all masters because we own a cell phone and have access to the internet and almost the entirety of human knowledge. We would consider someone a master after they have gone beyond the normal or average.

So, how do you become a Master? 

By attaining levels of training that are beyond the normal. We are all the sums of our training and knowledge. We learn from our mothers, fathers, family members, instructors, friends, co-workers, fellow students, and many more. We are all amazing creatures that can learn throughout the entirety of our lives. So, if we strive to grow, learn, and train throughout our lives, we can expect to rise above ordinary levels of accomplishment around us.

So, what makes me a master?

The sum of all my training, and the sum of all those years of teaching, training, running, punching, kicking, throwing, grappling, bleeding, and sweating.

This includes but is not limited to the following:

15 years of martial arts training in various martial arts which include Tae Kwon Do, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Muy Thai, Kali, and Hapkido

Training with various weapons such as the Bo Staff, Kali Sticks, Knives, Kamas, Boken, and Guns

Instruction and mentoring of hundreds of students; many that have themselves become black belts

Training of my own two children, Jordan and Saige, who have also become black belts, and Saige is soon to become a second degree black belt.

My dedication to grow, to learn, and to "Never Quit!"

BKJN Pat: It's official; we have the testing application packet

September 13, 2015

No turning back now, though true to form I did inquire on Saturday at the end of special training about what would happen if I didn't take my packet on Saturday at the end of special training.  I just couldn't help myself.  I know it seems that when I agreed to the training regiment that started April 1 and have participated in all the Mastery events, it was pretty much a done deal; I would be testing.  But getting the actual packet, made it real on a different level.  There are essays to write, physician's clearances, passport photos, an application to complete and a signed agreement to train 6 days a week and accept whatever decision is made after testing and of course a testing fee.  It's been 12 years since my last test.  I'd like to say that after four tests and all that time, I can face testing without any hesitation,  but that would be a lie.  The thought of performing in front of people still leaves me shaken.  I'm going to try not to focus on that part.  I'm going to focus on drilling all my techniques so that when I'm shaking in my bare feet, I won't forget what I know.

This past week has been productive.  Nothing like having a date to impress on me the need to stop putting things off and just do it.   I discovered this past week that as long as I didn't do the things I needed to do: specifically work on my form and identify the stand up combos I'm going to do, I could keep alive the belief that I can't do it.   Doing what I need to do to prepare defies the I can't or I'm not good enough that has chased me for almost 60 years.   I think it's time to leave that behind.  I suspect it will be a part of me to question and doubt, I just don't want it to be the way I think of myself any more.  "She believed she could so she did"  needs to be as much a part of me as breathing. 

This week's training:

Push ups: 1,000
Sit ups:     1,000
Running : 3.34 miles
Cycling:  19.5 miles
Classes: 2 Black belt, 1 private, 2 sticks, sparring and Special training
My push up totals are as follows:  April 1-present: 21,734 . If I include Jan 3-March 31, the total is 27,967. Sit ups:  April 1- present 21,175.  With Jan 2-March 31 27,408.

I hurt my shoulder on Saturday helping friends move a washer and dryer out of their basement and replace it with a newer one.  I'm not sure I'll be able to do push ups tomorrow, my shoulder hurts quite a bit.  I'll try, but I have no desire to make it worse.  There may be more sit ups in my future than I'd ever imagined.

SBN TERRI - Paleo diet style has changed my eating for life!

There was a time I couldn't resist a hearty wheat bread, sour dough or muffins ... crackers and cheese.... but I have been.  I have cut out my consumption of grain almost entirely as well as sugar.  AND I don't miss it.  I feel better.  Natural sugars in foods seem much richer.  I did have a piece of birthday cake recently and was shocked at how sweet it was.... I didn't like it!!

Our mastery test finale is quickly approaching.  I am still doing physical therapy and have added in acupuncture to assist in my recovery.... that is assuming recovery is possible.  When I step up my physical activity much, I am set back for a couple of days.  BUT - I am still making progress - I still love my training and can't imagine my life without it.

Our 360 team is fabulous.  I am so grateful to be associated with each of them.  We are all so different but have a common interest and goal.

SBN John –Think of the children

I love learning new techniques and training at a high level, and I also love training with my friends and family. However, I’m most proud of teaching kids martial arts.

I love being a positive role model for the kids, and at times I’ve been the only positive male role model for some kids. All kids should be surrounded with positive role models, and they should be brought up with values, respect, and the value of hard work. The martial arts teaches all of these things and more. So, whenever I’m training, teaching, or just talking, I need to be aware of the students around me. Students will remember what I say and how I say it, and how I act and perform.

I’ve given out advice in the past, and years later a student will say, “Remember when you told me this,” Many times, I’ve forgotten the words, but I usually remember the sentiment. My words can push others to work hard and to try there best, but if I’m not careful, they can hurt as well. So, I need to think of the children. Hee hee. Watch the Simpsons clip below to understand.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RybNI0KB1bg

One time I was telling some little dragons that if they want to practice martial arts at home, they need to ask their mom or dad. One little girl asked in a sweet voice, “What if you don’t have a mom and dad?” Grandma had custody of this little sweet girl, and mom and dad weren’t in the picture. My heart broke a little, and I said, “Oh, you can ask grandma too.” I found out that I was a big male role model for this little girl. So, I had to act accordingly. Another time I heard a little dragon say, “I want to grow up and teach karate like instructor John.” That was one of my proudest days.

This past week, I hurt my ankle, and it slowed my training down. However, I will still work hard because I know who will be watching.

BKJN Pat: I need dates

September 7,2015

One of the unique aspects of our Mastery Test is the somewhat broad strokes of our testing curriculum.  We are to demonstrate what we are good at and what we want to show within specific categories: stand up, flow roll, form of our choice, stick, knife and gun demonstration of our choice and be knowledgeable and proficient at all curriculum below our rank. ( I take it as a sign of progress that I didn't include any derogatory comments about what I'm good at :D ) This, one would think, would be freeing. After all we don't have to learn specific techniques and we can choose. But for me it isn't!  How do I choose?  There's so much to choose from; will I make the right choice !!!! KJN says I just have difficulty making decisions. I didn't think so, but now I think he must be right.  I keep telling myself that I can't choose wrong because it's my choice. I'm not having much success with that way of thinking either.

During my run this week with  Sandy, my training partner from all my other tests and friend, we discussed the problems I was having getting things together.  We  discovered that I require time frames. I'm disciplined about meeting specific expectations, but don't do well with more generalized expectations. So Sandy gave me one. I have until Friday to get my form put together to show her. It doesn't have to be complete, but I have to have something. As a result I'm on my way to having something that resembles a form I can feel good about.  KJN gave me a similar specific instruction regarding stand up combos . Choose them this week and start drilling them. I'm still sort of dragging my feet on this one, but I'm closer and Gary has agreed to hold focus mitts for me so I can drill them at home. 

This week's training:
Push ups 1,000
Sit ups.   1,000
Running: 5.7 miles
Cycling: 20 miles
Classes: 2 Black Belt, 2 stick, 2 private , Special training

BKJN Pat: Queen of my own life

August 30, 2015

This was a post on my Facebook page today.  It seems to sum up my  Mastery Test journey so well that I felt I should share it:

"One day she finally grasped that unexpected things were always going to happen in life. And with that she realized the only control she had was how she chose to handle them. So she made the decision to survive using courage, humor and grace. She was the queen of her own life and the choice was hers."
Lupytha Hermin

We have been given many opportunities during this Mastery Test that have challenged us on many levels.  I've definitely been taken out of my comfort zone: survival trip, tactical training, repelling and spelunking do not appear on my bucket list of things I need to do for my life to be complete.  (In truth, I don't really have a bucket list, but I think you know what I mean.)  Those things I expected to be challenging.  It's the day to day pitfalls, I wasn't prepared for. Or at least not with the frequency with which they arose.  I'm beginning, at last, to feel I have a better grip on them.  I have to stay focused in the moment, on what I'm doing in the here and now rather than what comes next.  Being present is really the only way to live life fully, yet its hard to do.  I am not typically a big picture person and in this instance that serves me well.  I can manage the parts and the parts will insure that the whole is complete.  If I focus on the whole,  I'm lost; it's too big and too impossible. 


Before I know it, the actual test weekend will be here.  The thought of that makes me a bit nervous, excited, scared and relieved.  I intend to be strong and confident and courageously face what that weekend brings.  I know that the real test has been all that has come before, the big challenges and the small.  I'm doing my Mastery Test even as I write this.

Training 8/24-8/30/2015

Push ups:  1,000
Sit ups:     1,000
Running:  6.43 miles
Cycling:  14.2 miles
Classes: 2 Black Belt, 2 private, 2 stick
Mastery Event:  Habitat for Humanity

This weeks push ups and sit ups bring my grand totals from April 2015 to the present to: 19,734 push ups
19, 175 sit ups.  Since the first of the year:  25,967 push ups and  25,408 sit ups.

BKJN Pat : You just never know; staying open to the possibilities

August 27, 2015

Last night I went to bed with every part of me aching to some degree or another. I slept pretty well considering that but the 6 am alarm came way too soon. I briefly considered staying in bed and doing my push ups and sit ups later in the day as just the thought of doing them almost brought me to tears. Instead, I considered that maybe it wouldn't be as bad as I thought. So I got dressed and went downstairs to get started. There was some comfort in remembering that today I meet Sandy to run at Rancho San Rafael rather than riding my bike. What that really represented was less time this morning, not necessarily an easier task.

I started the dryer( one of the boys had laundry that needed finishing up) and started my push ups.  In between sets I read Facebook posts and checked on the dryer and before I knew it, my 200 push ups were done. I was somewhat pleased to realize that the last set of 50 felt pretty easy.  Then on to sit ups and I was done about 6:45 which left me some quiet time before the troops ( 4 boys) arrived downstairs to start the morning. As soon as they were off to school, I was on my way to the park.

While I was somewhat encouraged by the ease of the first part of my morning routine, the run remained a bit daunting. During our last run on Monday, my calves ached and one foot went numb and this was the day of the long uphill run. As quickly as I lamented all those things, I reminded myself that there was always the possibility that it wouldn't be too bad. Yes it took about the same amount of time for my lungs to accept that I was running up hill, but the run itself felt pretty good. I had commented to Sandy at the beginning that I wondered if the run would ever get easier.  As we rounded the pond on the last leg of the run, I realized it actually was easier today. I forgot to set my Fitbit to record distance and time, but I didn't really need that to know it was better today than it had been.

Negative thoughts are as much a part of us as the positive ones. Silly to deny them; but they don't have to own me or control me. I can let them go and open the door to other possibilities. A good lesson for today .

BKJN Pat: Mouth, words, thoughts, my reality

August 23, 2015

We've all heard the childhood chant: "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me".  As a child I didn't question that.  As an adult, and hopefully a fully evolving human being, I know that words can hurt in ways we never truly heal from.  Words are powerful and the ones we use make an impression on those around us and on ourselves.  This week, I had yet another lesson about how my words, my own words, make me or break me. 

This week's lesson was about the connection between what comes out of my mouth and what thoughts ramble around in my head.  I realized that once words are out of my mouth, they trip a cycle of thoughts in my head that can defeat me more than anything else ever can.  They are my words; my thoughts. 

I have struggled throughout my life, to see my own value, to appreciate who I am and all that I am capable of.  I am my own worst critic and I cut me very little slack.  It's very easy for me to find fault in myself and all the ways I don't measure up.  That really came home to me this week.  My first response, the words out of my mouth, when asked to do something in our martial arts class is "I can't, or some under my breath mumbling about how I'll just screw up.  Once those words  are out, they rule.  And while I might not be the colossal failure I was prepared to be, it is a very uncomfortable place for me to be.  From there, I don't see anything positive or possible. 

My real life experiences, don't support this view I take.  I have many more successes than failures.  If I try to do something, I generally can and do.  Clearly, my thoughts patterns are well ingrained and it wasn't going to be easy to stop a life long habit.  Yet when I reached the point of wanting to give up on this test, I knew things had to change.  When I could clearly see the connection between what came out of my mouth and the thoughts that followed, I understood that I needed to stop those self defeating words.  Because when I didn't say those words, my head stayed quiet and the thoughts didn't take over.  I resolved to consciously choose a different response.  For example,  on Monday KJN asked SBN Terri and I to demonstrate a technique.  In the past I would have grumbled some disparaging remark about how I couldn't do that, but this time I said "we'd be happy to".  It completely changed everything about the demonstration.   I resolved to make an effort to not let comments come out of my mouth that are not supportive and complementary.  If I do, I try to replace that with something less negative, if I can't go totally positive.  It was a small thing really, but it has had big benefits.  And it's been surprisingly easy to curb my  mouth which in turn quiets all the things that play in my head and keep me from appreciating the truth of who I am.  It's been a more peaceful productive week.  It is something I will have to work at, but the ease with which I could begin to make changes, gives me hope that this will be something I one day leave behind.

This Saturday was our first Saturday special training.  I wasn't sure what we'd be in for.  It's been a lot of years since I was more than a support person during training.  Saturday morning I didn't do my push ups or sit ups or ride my bike.  I was fairly certain there would be a run involved Saturday morning and probably some push ups, etc.  Well there weren't any push ups or sit ups, but the training was pretty much non stop for the first hour and then a run.  We did more repetitions than I typically get in class time and I came away with a renewed sense of how training has to change to make my performance during the test something I'll be proud of.  I was exhausted when we were done and thankful that I hadn't waited to get started on my conditioning.  Even with all I've been doing, it was a challenge... as it should be.

This weeks training: August 17-22, 2015

                   This week         4/1- present         1/3 - 3/31           Grand total ( so far) 
Push ups:   1,000                 18,734                   6,233                     24,967

Sit ups:      1,000                 18,175                   6,233                     24,408
Running:     9.44 miles
Bicycling:   14.5 miles
Classes:  2 Black Belt, 2 private, 2 stick , and Saturday Special training.  By all counts a full week.

SBN TERRI: Two steps forward, one slide back

I have been going to physical therapy since the middle of June.  Sometimes I feel like I am getting better, other times I feel I am just resigning myself to living with the pain.  I have been learning so much about how everything is all connected -  particularly the nervous system since it is the sciatic nerve, the largest nerve in the body.  The physical therapist I have been working with has referred to several things about the nervous system. I found this article that has helped me to understand and thought I would share it.

The Nervous System

The body is intelligently designed.  Its built-in mechanisms allow the body to handle and adapt to episodic (acute) stress.  The body’s sympathetic nervous system (SNS) and parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) balance each other out.  The SNS is catabolic and mobilizes the body’s resources to help the body “fight or flight” threatening situations.  The PNS is anabolic and helps the body rest, digest, and recover.  The body is designed to spend the majority of its time in the PNS.  Ideally, it only uses the SNS for true life-threatening emergencies.

However, the body interprets all stress (mental and physical) as a reason to activate the SNS.  While most people are not faced with life-threatening situations on a daily basis, their bodies perceive that this is the case.  Their hectic lives filled with adrenaline rushes from caffeine, too many deadlines, and rush-hour traffic trigger the SNS. 

Worry and mental stress add to the physical stresses and compound the issue because the body cannot differentiate between a real or imagined stress.  Thus, a person who constantly worries and thinks about stressful situations (i.e. being behind on bills, rehashing an argument at home, or layoffs at work) activates the SNS through imagination alone.  Optimal recovery from exercise, and from stress in general, requires techniques to reduce the dominance of the sympathetic nervous system from physical and mental/emotional stressors and activation of the PNS.

So, this has emphasized the importance of state of mind and recovery.  The physical therapy has really been invoking a lot of emotional responses as well as physical.  I have been coming face to face with my fears, issues that stress me and those that make me sad..Very little of this is associated with my martial arts activities.  Matter of fact, it is my martial arts activities and people that bring me joy.... make me laugh.   I didn't want these things and physical pain to be haunting me the year I finally get to test for 4th degree.  But, I guess this is all part of the test.  As KJN has said over and over, it is the test is about as much about your state of mind as it is physical abilities.  

This weekend, I am in Portland visiting my son and friends.  We all went to a ropes course which was very physically challenging but fun.  

In terms of my training and push ups.... I find the push ups are very beneficial for the my upper body and core.

BKJN Pat: How many push ups and sit ups?

August 20, 2015

Today at the end of the Dragon's and Little Dragon's class, KJN Paul was telling the students about the number of push ups and sit ups we have to do as part of our training.  He asked me how many I'd done since April 1st and I said " thousands" maybe 10, 000.  I knew at one point I had totaled them up, but I realized I hadn't done it recently.  So tonight before going to bed I went through all my blogs and came up with my totals.  I hadn't added them up since May 2, 2015.

From April 1 thru  August 15, 2015 I have done:  ( imagine a drum roll here)

17, 734 push ups
17, 175 sit ups

My total for this year so far ( I started January 3, 2015 in the hope that I'd be ready by April ) is:

23,967 push ups
23,408 sit ups

Holy cow !  That is amazing. 

SBN John – Weirdo, Crazy, Nuts

Am I those things?

Yes.

No.

Maybe.

Sure.

Who knows?

Who’s saying?

I’ve been called a lot of those things and worse.

There are a lot of things that I do that would cause others to call me weird, crazy, nuts, paranoid, or whatever. However, I don’t care. I do those things because I like to, and I’m free to do so.

I love to shoot shotguns, rifles, and pistols.

I love to play paintball and shoot people in the butt. Hee hee

I love to spar and kick people in the head. It’s really fun!

I love to run and run and run.

I love to grapple and tap people out.

I love playing violent video games, and my license plate is my gamer tag.
I even love zombies! (See pic above after a Zombie Run 5k)

Many people hate many of those things listed above, and they will call you names to justify their hate.

I recently read an article on how all runners use to be called weirdo’s.

http://www.vox.com/2015/8/9/9115981/running-jogging-history

I’ve even read an article on how runners are always breaking the law.

http://runhaven.com/2015/08/18/7-laws-might-breaking-run/

You can't win. Even running!

I can’t live my life trying to make everyone happy. I need to live my life to make my family happy and myself happy. If along the way, I make my friends, community, and everyone else happy, that’s a bonus. If not, that’s ok.

There are even people who don’t want you to be able to defend yourself even if you’re in danger. 

However, that doesn’t make me happy. Earning my fourth degree black belt will make me happy and 

watching my daughter earn her second degree black belt will definitely make me happy. So, after I get my belt, call me what you will, as long as it Bu Kwan Jang Nim (Master Instructor).

BKJN Pat: Humpty Dumpty

August 15, 2015

This was the week it was supposed to get easier.  The boys went back to school and that was going to make a difference for me, give me a chance to breathe.  While it's true that Gary was home to stay with the boys, knowing he was home with the boys created an urgency to return home from whatever I was doing as quickly as possible.  Gary would probably disagree with that statement because there would be little evidence to support that. And he would be right.  It didn't often "look" like I was trying to do more than be away as long as I could.  It's more of an internal dialogue, a pressure I put on myself when I know he is at home with the boys thinking about how I am never home.

The boys went to school on Monday.  True I didn't have to think about Gary being home with the boys; he was happily home alone until 2:30 pm.  But if it was any easier, it wasn't readily apparent.  Instead of worrying about Gary being home with the boys I was rearranging my teaching and training schedule so I could be away for a couple of days for Geoff's graduation, making sure I had all the supplies the boys needed for school before I left,  forms signed or gotten to the right people to sign, and was struck with the realization of how quickly the test was approaching and how much I had yet to work on. On Tuesday I realized Gary would be gone again the following week for about a week in order to facilitate moving a relative from Florida.  Although it was more than a week away, the mere thought of trying to manage everything with the boys and keep up my training, brought me to the brink of quitting.  Seriously.  This time I couldn't find my way.  I couldn't put the pieces together and see how it would all work.  It felt and seemed impossible, so I left town on Wednesday with the plan that at least for a couple of days, I wouldn't think about it at all.

I'm back home now.  It was wonderful to spend some time with Geoff and see him graduate.  For the two days I was in Oregon, there were no sit ups no push ups no running no bicycling no paleo diet.   I wasn't breathing and sleeping test preparation.  Today, I resumed my regular routine. Monday the adventure begins again with the addition now of Saturday special training.

I thought it would be easier to roll with the punches as training progressed. As I type this, I can hear KJN saying, " you didn't think this would be easy, did you?  I guess at some point I did. I thought  I would get the "hang of it": the ups and downs, the moments of triumph and defeat, feeling confident and strong followed by doubt and despair, adding to an already full schedule.  This week I learned again about my limits.  I juggle a lot to do what I do and I can't do it all.  There has to be balance and I haven't found it.  This Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall this week. Just as the Humpty Dumpty of nursery rhyme fame, no one can put me back together again.  It's an inside job.

This week's training August 10-15, 2015
Sit ups:   800
Push ups:800
Bicycling: 14 miles
Running: 3.3 miles
Classes: 1 Black Belt,  2 Private, 1 stick

SBN John - Reno 10 Miler

It’s been hard for me to train recently because of the hot weather, lightning storms, and rain, and with all the extra workouts, I feel heavy and sluggish. However, I still have a race to run.

I’ve signed up for the Reno 10 Miler. The Reno 10 Miler is a race that starts in downtown Reno under the famous Reno Arch. The course then heads to UNR, and the runners get to run in and out of Mackey Stadium. We then head back to the Truckee River and finish near the Reno arch. It’s a fun 10 miles through some pretty areas of Reno.

A 10 mile race is becoming a popular race distance nationally. It’s longer than a 5K or 10 K, but it’s shorter then a half marathon. So, to perform well you need to have some endurance, but you can also use speed. A 5K can be completed at a speedy pace because it will be completed quickly. A half marathon needs to be completed at a slower pace because the distance is so much longer. So, for a 10 miler race, a balance between speed and endurance needs to be found. I know I have the endurance. I just feel sluggish recently, and I probably won’t make a PR (Personal Record). However, since I like to make long term goals, I’ve made a long term goal. I think it would be cool to run the 10 miler for 10 years in a row. This would be my third year. So, as long as I finish, I still take a step towards my goal.

Above: Reno 10 Miler Arm Compression sleeve

Below: Reno 10 Miler picture at the finish line last year.

BKJN Pat: My Mastery Test packet should have come with this warning: UNEXPECTED OBSTACLES AHEAD- Be prepared for sudden shifts in confidence and attitude.

August 8, 2015

No, I didn't expect this to be easy, but I sure didn't expect all the things that would come up in the course of preparing for this test.  Just when I think I'm feeling strong and confident, something occurs to call that into question. This week it was something as simple as not sleeping well and the impact that had on my ability to train and keep my negative attitude in check.  There are seemingly endless possibilities of bumps in the road,  and you'd think by now that wouldn't surprise me or catch me off guard, but it does.  I meet all the challenges, not always as well as I'd like to but I do, and yet each new one knocks me off balance, at least momentarily.  I should be able to take confidence in all I've accomplished, yet I don't.  And I find myself wondering why.  There is more evidence to support confidence than not.  I haven't given up even when I believed I couldn't do what was put before me.

I look forward to the day when I see myself in terms of what I am, what I can do rather than what I can't or I'm not.  KJN Paul said from the start, this Mastery Test is really about mastering myself.  That's no small task.  I am a tenacious opponent.

I took a couple days off this week in order to allow myself the opportunity to get some needed rest.  It helped.  I do know that I have to listen closely to my body.  I study homeopathy and we hold the idea that our bodies make no mistakes.  They tell us perfectly what we need to know. We just have to listen and pay attention.  It's when we don't listen that we get into trouble because then our bodies have to go to greater extremes to get our attention. This is not the time to face that particular obstacle so I am going to listen.

Training August 3-8 2015
Push ups:  800
Sit ups:  800
Running:  6.6 miles
Cycling:  10 miles
Classes:  2 Black Belt, 1 private, 1w/ SBN Terri

SBN Terri - WHAT IS IT ABOUT MARTIAL ARTS THAT KEEPS ME MOTIVATED?

I've certainly been evaluating what it is about martial arts training that keeps me going.  It's always putting a goal out in front of me....something more to learn, to master ... Often it's not  physical... it is the mental challenge, it is understanding the slight nuance of when to step back or position of a hand that makes all the difference.  But its much more than that.  

I signed my son, Erik, up for martial arts classes when he was 7 years old.  About a year later, I started taking classes too.  In 2005, he was a junior in high school and we tested for 3rd degree together.  Now that my son is an adult in the work world, he worked on a survey of martial arts benefits and came up with these results:

Percent of students who reported, recognized the following changes:

72% greater strength

59% greater endurance/stamina

36% better posture

71% more focus

38% speaking up for yourself

56% quicker reflexes

39% improved performance in work/school

53% polite greetings

59% better balance

46% more eye contact

57% improved motivation

60% more self-respect With these changes, the following consequences were also reported: 38% improved happiness  46% improved confidence  41% improved health 50% parents reported improved behavior of children Noteworthy Comments Made by Surey Participants: "I have better mental health" "I'm better at goal setting and have greater respect for difference of opinions" "I have less anxiety, less fear and more confidence." "I'm better at controlling my breathing" "My leadership skills have improved" "Our girls have knowledge of how to deal with a bully at school" "I have more awareness of the community and community needs" "My confidence is higher, stress levels are lower, and I'm happier in general" "Our son has had a much easier time making friends" "Wanting to do what has been taught and please the instructors is a huge motivator in our house" "My son is better at following directions" "I feel like I'm part of a team" These are all things I've observed over the years, in myself, my son, and our 360 Martial Arts students.  Why wouldn't I be motivated to keep going!!!?

BKJN Pat: I keep expecting it to get easier

August 2, 2015

It's hard to believe this is the start of the fourth month of training.  The time has passed quickly and at times I find myself in a panic over there not being enough time.  It is both a long time and not a long enough time when I think about all that I still need to do. 

I have recently started wearing a bracelet on which is engraved "She believed she could so she did".  Through out our Mastery training, if anything should have become clear and evident to me, it's that I meet whatever challenge is put before me.  Yet, there is always doubt or fear that I won't.  I think it's time to leave that behind and instead of being the person who prefaces every challenge with I don't think I can, learn to embrace the person that I truly am.  It is such an ingrained pattern for me that it will take time to change it. So each time I see, and therefore read the words on my bracelet, I consciously change my thoughts about me.  I remember the 40 foot climb that I BELIEVED was impossible and laugh with joy at finding out it simply wasn't so.

I continue to struggle each morning with the fact that I start my day with push ups, sit ups and bicycling or running.  I thought I had this issued licked by just affirming "this is what I do".  No judgment in that; just a fact. That's not working so well these days.  I might start out energetically on Monday but my enthusiasm quickly falls away when I haven't slept well or other stresses invade.  Once I get started, I'm usually okay, but I find myself easily diverted between sets so it's actually taking me a bit longer than I'd like.  I guess that's really not important.  What is important is I get them done. 

Training 7/27- 8/1/2015

Push ups:  1,150 ( yes I have insanely decided to do 200 a day.  I only missed that once this week)
Sit ups:      1,130
Running: 3.32 miles
Bicycling: 23.2 miles
Classes:  2 Black Belt, 2 private lessons, 1 Kali

BJKN Pat: The journey continues

July 26, 2015

Without the stress of wondering what would happen if I got stuck in a cave, freaked out, or otherwise embarrassed myself, this week was relatively uneventful.  When I think about our Moaning Cavern experience, I am grateful for that whole experience. It has given me a new appreciation for what I am capable of doing and confidence that I am up to the challenges that will present themselves.  I don't think I'll completely be able to give up my hesitancy about trying new things that aren't on my list of things I feel I have to do for my life to be complete ( I learned during the drive to the caverns that my speaking my doubts and lack of enthusiasm provides a certain amount of entertainment for my fellow participants) but I do think some of the head noise will quiet. 

Monday this week was the first day I chose not to do any of my push ups, sit ups or bicycling since starting my regiment in January. I was achy and tired and decided I could give myself another day of rest.  It was hard to make that okay.  I finally rationalized that since I started three months ahead of schedule, I was in no way shirking my responsibilities or commitment.  I did get in 50 push ups that day however due to a partner challenge during Black Belt class.  We had to try to out last our partner.  I wasn't watching when my partner stopped until I got to 50.

A while back, I set a goal to be able to do one set of 50 push ups.  I don't know why that was important, but it was.   When I could not consistently meet that goal, I decided it wasn't really that important.  It was only a number.  I stopped trying and was content to just get my 150 done in whatever combination each day would bring.  For the past two weeks, I have consistently been able to do 4 consecutive sets of 50 push ups a day.  I feel no need to go beyond that, and am happy to check that off my list.  I thought I had let go of that goal, but apparently I hadn't.  Goes to show you how powerful our thoughts really are and  how careful we need to be about what we focus and think about.

This week:

Push- ups: 1,070
Sit-ups: 1,000
Bicycling: 24.9 miles
Running : Couldn't run this week because my husband was out of town and I wasn't about to drag 6 kids out early in the morning for a run .
Classes:  2 Black Belt classes, two private lessons

SBN Terri : Don't spend your time stressing over what you have no control over!

I was telling a friend about our amazing experience exploring Moaning Cavern last weekend.  I did admit to her that when I was in some of those tight spaces, squeezing through; the thought of how much earth was on top of me, and how vulnerable I was, would try to invade my mind.  But, I pushed those thoughts away.  There was no point in worrying about it.

My friend was so impressed with that, she was going to write it down.  She saw how that could be applied to many things in life.  We get so wound up, stressing over the "what if's".  And so often these are things we have absolutely no control over.  

I've been thinking a lot about martial arts, why I'm here, what it means to me, why I continue to train - at least try given my physical limitations right now.  When I started, I never dreamed I'd still be doing this after 19 years.  More to come on these thoughts!!

I've been continuing physical therapy, doing push ups, riding my bike.  I'm thrilled to be working more with Virgil on kali.  I may not be able to do much kicking or rolling, but develop more skills with knives, sticks and gun disarms.

If the earth shifted, well, I wouldn't have to think about it very long.  

SBN John – Entering the Bat Cave

Our special training for the last week was to perform a 165 foot rappel into Moaning Cavern. For most of the rappel, we were dangling in the air above the beautiful cave system with only the support of the climbing room. It was scary and exhilarating.

Then, we spent 3 and a half hours crawling and sliding through the cave system. We went through various caves and tunnels with real fun names like the “meat grinder”, the “pancake room”, the “roach motel”, and “godzilla’s nostril”. I needed to crawl, twist, and bend my body in various positions to get through the tunnels. I had a blast and I was ready to move in and setup my "BAT CAVE!" because like I told our guide, "I'm Batman."

I also found an old bottle opener that someone must have lost in the cave. I gave it to our guide so he could dispose of it. If it wasn’t already in the cave, it shouldn’t be in the cave. Except for the bones. I we found those, they needed to stay in the cave. Many creatures have fallen into the cave and died, and the oldest set of human bones found there were dated to be 12,000 years old.

For my other training, it’s been hard to get run and/or bike in the last few weeks. It was too hot, too late, too rainy, or there was too much lightning. Also, my mountain bike is broken. My rear derailleur broker off, the chain snapped and the cable attached to the rear derailleur snapped. It’s an expensive mountain bike. So, it will be an expensive fix. I still want to run in the Reno 10 Miler in August. So, it’s frustrating to miss even a single run.

Below are my training numbers:

Even when I believe I can't, I can !

July 19,2015

It's been no secret that I wasn't looking forward to this weekend's Mastery Test challenge: Moaning Cavern.  This challenge involved a 200 foot repel into an open cavern,  165 feet of which was a free repel, dangling from a rope and harness.  The rest of this adventure was spelunking through caves underground from the cavern we repelled into.  While I wasn't thrilled or excited about the prospect, I knew I would do it. I wasn't too worried about the repel; it was the spelunking.  I was pretty sure I was claustrophobic.  The basis for that was my dislike of narrow tunnels on water slides and my inability as a child to go into the small space between the walls in a friend's house. As an adult, I'd really had no opportunity to test it out.  Having gone through a couple of MRI's I thought I might not be as claustrophobic as I thought, but I wasn't entirely sure.
I'm happy to report that the repelling was great.  There was one rather tense moment of stepping off the first ledge to begin a short free repel, but once that was done, the rest was really quite amazing.  I made it a point to keep my eyes level with where I was hanging in the cavern so the distance down wasn't really a concern.  As I lowered myself, the part of the cavern I was looking at lowered so I wasn't worried about how high up I was. 
Much to my surprise, I didn't freak out in the tight spaces in the caves.  And some of the spaces were really tight. We crawled through on our bellies, or backs, head first at times, feet first at others, with not much wiggle room.  Our guide Tim kept reminding us that if at anytime we felt uncomfortable, we needed to let him know. Except for getting tired at times, the narrow spaces didn't scare me.  I will say that at one point I was ready to have the tour end.  Not because I was freaking out, but because I was tired.  There are points for early exit, but once you're passed that, there is no turning back. 
The final task was to climb up a 40 ' chimney within the cavern floor and slide down the face of one of the walls of the main cavern.  By the time we got to that part, I was exhausted.  I stood at the base of the chimney, looked up and told KJN Paul I didn't think I could do it.  It required climbing using foot and hand holds to pull me up.  There was a rope that could be used  with hands or feet, but that seemed a bit too precarious for me.  KJN Paul kept assuring me that I'd find a way; I keep assuring him I wouldn't.  My initial fear was slipping and falling; there was no safety rope.  My other fear was finding foot holds and hand holds at manageable spacing.  Tim had assured us these were readily available and easy to find but I wasn't finding any.  After stepping up on the first foot hold, it took some time to muscle the courage for the next step.  Everything seemed out of reach and I worried that I was so tired I couldn't hold on and pull myself up. And the rocks were slippery.  KJN quietly and patiently assured me I would find my way, but to do so I had to move.  I tried using the rope as a ladder and I was able to move another step higher, all the while telling myself I couldn't do this.  There really was no way out but to go up, and at some point I realized the space was small enough that I could lean my back against the rocks and give myself some extra support. The chatter in my head stopped and I focused on climbing.  About that time the hand and foot holds did seem to be closer together and I was able to make my way up.  As in the cavern, I tried to keep my eyes level with where I actually was rather than looking down or up.  When I could see the light through the top of the hole and could hear familiar voices, I knew I would make it.  That was the most incredible feeling in the world.  What had seemed so impossible, really wasn't.  The last part was to slide down a wall in the main cavern.  For this portion a safety rope was tied around my waist and I held on to a knotted rope to lower myself.    I couldn't believe I had done it.

I didn't think I'd say this either: I'm really glad I did this. It was an amazing experience on many levels.

This week I  went to one private lesson.  I kept up with all my push ups ( 900) and rode my bicycle rather than running (24.7 miles).  The only other thing I was short on was sit ups( 830). 

BKJN Pat: Accepting who I am

July 12, 2015

KJN Paul has stressed repeatedly that our Mastery Test is really about mastering ourselves: our fears, our head games, our doubts and letting go of our self-limiting beliefs.  I've trained for 4 other black belt tests and this by far has presented me with the greatest challenges.  We don't have specific curriculum we have to learn, but are being asked to show what we know.  Yes we have guidelines, specific components, but how those are demonstrated is totally up to each one of us.  This is both freeing and frightening.  We also have  many challenges through Mastery Team activities.  The one coming up is repelling at Moaning Caverns.

Thankfully because of a previous repelling experience with this same group of people, I am not going into this one blind.  However, there is still a large element of challenge there.  The fact that I do not feel excited and enthusiastic about this adventure is part of that.   I feel like the official team party pooper because try as I might I can't get excited about doing this.  I've come face to face with my Eeyore and finding acceptance for that part of me has been my challenge this week.  I am not someone who seeks out adrenaline rushes.  I don't like skiing black diamonds, going up steel hills on ATV's, speeding, jumping off of rocks into water, climbing up high, or ropes course adventures. I don't feel the need for heart racing adventures.  They are not on my bucket list. I've done them, but they leave me exhausted.  Am I ever sorry I did them?  No, not even once.  Did I need to do them to make my life complete? No, at the end of my life, these would not be things I'd regret not doing.  Would I do them again? Probably not.

It took most of this week, but I  am  finally able to be okay with the fact that these things don't excite me and that my feeling about them is that I just have to get through it.   Because even though I may not like doing them, I do them when that is what is expected of me.  I'd like to be more at ease about these kinds of activities, but that's not who I am and at this stage in the game, that's not likely to change.  I have learned over the years that I have what it takes to meet the challenges life brings me; it will be no different with this.  I'm not a quitter; I may not be the one jumping up and down saying "pick me"  "let me"  "I'll go first", but when I'm asked to show up, I do.

This week July 6-11, 2015

Push ups:    1,064.  I continue to challenge myself each day to see how many more I can do. This week my top daily number was 192

Sit ups:  980
Running:  3.45 miles
Cycling:   24.6 miles


Stay tuned next Sunday to hear all about Moaning Cavern !

SBN Terri - You just can't rush healing!!!

Physical Therapy has been helping.... guiding me as to what I should and should not do.   The pressure on the sciatic nerve causes pain that radiates down my left leg, especially my calf muscle!  I'm not waking up in the middle of the night in pain any more, so that is a good sign.  I am able to resume doing push-ups and riding my bicycle at least 3 miles a day.  It is funny what aggravates it and what doesn't.  It is very tiring to contend with it....

Ah! But to focus on the good things..... I have been working on what I can - more on knife and gun disarms - bo staff form.... fighting form...  Refining the details.  I love working with our students - it takes the pain away!!

Eating a paleo diet is great for me... but clearly, I still eat too many calories, especially now that I am not burning as many.   I keep trying.

I am often forced to stop and rest, relax, ice my lower back, close my eyes, and breathe deeply.  A fundamental practice I should incorporate into my life to alleviate stress.  Its going to be a busy time with my work.... I must keep the stress from overtaking me.

Wesley Week of July 29th

Well, I think I missed a week or two in updating this blog.  It's been so hectic with my life it's hard to just get a moment to breath.  I started a new job in June so a lot of my mental focus has been ensuring that the transition to this job goes well.  In addition, trying to ensure I meet my commitment to the 360 MA business, physical training, curriculum, my family and my sanity.  One thing I realize is that I need to put in more reps in the classroom in terms of curriculum.  There's so much that I need a refresher in, especially knives and sticks. 

One of the things that I'm trying to focus on is the Master's mindset.  KJN Paul sent out an email regarding the Master's mindset, which essentially means beyond your physical ability, you should have your state of mind at a higher level, meet new challenges and face new fears.  Well, KJN Paul has pretty much force me to do things that I'm not comfortable with, such as the recent survival training.  If anyone knows me, I'm pretty much a city boy.  Need my daily showers, bed and home cooked meals.  One of my goal is to do something that gets me out of my comfort level on my own, without something telling me I have to.  This will be a great challenge.  Stay tune as I figure what it will be.

In terms of physical training, I've been doing the 150 pushups/sit-ups daily and biking 6 miles daily, so I feel I'm good in that arena.  Also I've been hitting the gym 3 times a week.  Only issue is I need to consume more calories so not to waste away and lose strength.

That's all for now, 'til next time.

SBN Wes

BKJN Pat: A different kind of week

This week, because of the 4th of July holiday and Patty, our daughter-in-law having the week off,  our family went camping at Blue Lakes.  Most of them left last Sunday; I wasn't able to leave until Thursday evening because two of the boys were in summer school.  That meant that Friday and Saturday I wouldn't be home to do my usual routine of push ups, sit ups and cycling for two of the required 6 days.  It seemed a bit strange to not be doing those things; part of me welcomed the break; part of me worries how I'll ever get motivated to start again tomorrow.  This is the first time since January that I've allowed myself an additional two days off.  It's pretty easy to stop a routine; I'm hoping my discipline up until this point will make it easy to resume again.  I won't really know until tomorrow.  It's harder than I imagined, no that's not really true; its as hard as I imagined it would be to keep going all these months... and there are still 4 months to go. 

This month our Mastery Training takes us to Moaning Caverns: repelling, 200 feet in the dark, climbing around in caves. I can say with all honesty that this training has given me opportunities to do things I never would think about doing.  I'm hoping for this one, I'll be able to see it for the adventure it is and just go for it !

This weeks' numbers will be a bit less than usual.  That has to be okay because that's what is.  I'm adding another aspect of training to what I'm doing already. In addition to black belt class time, working on flow roll patterns with Jessi, private lessons with KJN Paul, SBN Terri and I will begin working with Virgil to get some training with stick, knife and gun ( I hope; stick and knife for sure; hoping for gun as well)  I seem to have a great deal of difficulty with the weapons portion of training.  This will be an opportunity to work some of that out. I wonder how one adds anymore things to an already full schedule and yet we are.



This week 6/29-7/2/15:

Push ups:  705  ( I can now do at least 3 consecutive sets of 50; I had two personal bests this week: 4 consecutive sets of 50 on Monday 6/29 and a first set of 55 on 7/2.)

Sit ups:  630
Running: 6.51 miles
Cycle: 9.9 miles
Classes: BB Class 2, private lesson, noon class

BKJN Pat: Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde?

June 27,2015

I continue to be baffled by the sudden unpredictable emotional shifts I experience on a weekly basis. At any given moment, I feel confident and sure of my ability to meet the challenges the Mastery test presents and just as quickly without warning I am on the verge of backing out of the test, wondering what on earth I was thinking that I could do it.  In all of life's experiences, these emotions are present.  But in spite of my  undeniable evidence that I am doing what I need to do, and sometimes more,  I continue to question that I can keep it up and that I even want to keep it up.  My negative self talk has dogged me through out my martial arts training.  I have made strides in quieting the voice in my head that says I don't measure up, but I haven't extinguished it.  Perhaps I never will.  Perhaps by continuing in spite of my doubts I am doing my best.  I don't give up; I know that about me.  I get discouraged and then I look for ways to accomplish whatever it is I want/need to.  It is difficult to balance life and training.  It would be great if I could take a sabbatical from the rest of my life and only focus on my training.  It would be so much easier, but then I'd be missing some of these lessons I will look back on and value.  The Mastery test is about mastering myself.  Thankfully, I still have time to work on that.

This week:

Push ups: 1,053
Sit ups:     1,010
Running:  6.35 miles
Cycling:   19.5 miles
Classes:  2 + 1 private + 1 BJJ

SBN Terri - WHAT for breakfast?!

  

I had taken a concealed weapon course before and got quite a bit of target practice with my nephew in Utah, but this experience really helped me become more comfortable.  So much of it was getting in the repetition. The drills were very helpful! I had never had to pull my gun out of a holster!  Good practice.  

My left hip and leg has continued to get worse.  A lot of pain in my hip, and numbness in my leg and foot.  The doctor has prescribed a strong anti-inflammatory and I have an appt with physical therapist Monday morning for an evaluation.  He is recommending I try this approach for a month before we take any further action.  I have faith it will!  

The paleo diet generally gives me more sustainable energy.  Sometimes though I am challenged with what to eat.  I used to be able to grab a Luna Bar or instant oatmeal as I ran out the door in the mornings.... but now its more of a challenge.   Egg whites and spinach is good, but I don't always like to cook. I have to be more creative.... sort of ....  I end up eating sliced chicken breast, morning, noon and night. It's easy.  Almonds and raisins are always a treat.  The other morning I had tuna with bell pepper.  Not your typical breakfast foods.... but definitely starts my day off with energy and my mind alert.