July 12, 2015
KJN Paul has stressed repeatedly that our Mastery Test is really about mastering ourselves: our fears, our head games, our doubts and letting go of our self-limiting beliefs. I've trained for 4 other black belt tests and this by far has presented me with the greatest challenges. We don't have specific curriculum we have to learn, but are being asked to show what we know. Yes we have guidelines, specific components, but how those are demonstrated is totally up to each one of us. This is both freeing and frightening. We also have many challenges through Mastery Team activities. The one coming up is repelling at Moaning Caverns.
Thankfully because of a previous repelling experience with this same group of people, I am not going into this one blind. However, there is still a large element of challenge there. The fact that I do not feel excited and enthusiastic about this adventure is part of that. I feel like the official team party pooper because try as I might I can't get excited about doing this. I've come face to face with my Eeyore and finding acceptance for that part of me has been my challenge this week. I am not someone who seeks out adrenaline rushes. I don't like skiing black diamonds, going up steel hills on ATV's, speeding, jumping off of rocks into water, climbing up high, or ropes course adventures. I don't feel the need for heart racing adventures. They are not on my bucket list. I've done them, but they leave me exhausted. Am I ever sorry I did them? No, not even once. Did I need to do them to make my life complete? No, at the end of my life, these would not be things I'd regret not doing. Would I do them again? Probably not.
It took most of this week, but I am finally able to be okay with the fact that these things don't excite me and that my feeling about them is that I just have to get through it. Because even though I may not like doing them, I do them when that is what is expected of me. I'd like to be more at ease about these kinds of activities, but that's not who I am and at this stage in the game, that's not likely to change. I have learned over the years that I have what it takes to meet the challenges life brings me; it will be no different with this. I'm not a quitter; I may not be the one jumping up and down saying "pick me" "let me" "I'll go first", but when I'm asked to show up, I do.
This week July 6-11, 2015
Push ups: 1,064. I continue to challenge myself each day to see how many more I can do. This week my top daily number was 192
Sit ups: 980
Running: 3.45 miles
Cycling: 24.6 miles
Stay tuned next Sunday to hear all about Moaning Cavern !
No comments:
Post a Comment