BKJN Pat: This week's lesson: Learning to hit the pause button

Just the other day, one of the students asked KJN Paul why our Mastery Test started 6 months out.  His explanation was that this is not just a test; this is a Mastery Test.  By having a long training period we have the opportunity to deal with many challenges including managing the ups and downs of our other life ( out side of martial arts) and training.  This week's challenge for me was recognizing I  needed to push the pause button.

For almost half of my life I've been a martial artist.  I've trained myself to push through (persevere), not give up in face of seemingly impossible obstacles, to face my fears.  In my other life, I've had to do similar things... just put my head down and do what needs to be done.  No other option.  So it is difficult for me to accept that I can't do it all.  That there comes a time when I need to rest and it's okay.

That's what happened this week.  I realized that I've added all this additional training to my life and haven't eliminated any of my other activities.  The survival trip last weekend tipped the balance of exhaustion and I had to stop.  The day before our trip I felt I was coming down with a cold or possibly a sore throat.  I was a bit concerned because one of the boys had strep throat.  I modified my activities that  day to give me a bit more rest, but in truth, there wasn't much rest.  Preparation for the trip didn't require much in the way of packing, but did have a certain amount of stress of going into the unknown having very little idea what was actually going to transpire.  Two relatively sleepless nights, the cold, the stress of realizing how unprepared I was for the challenges of "surviving" took its toll.  I was exhausted Monday but still did everything I was "supposed to do".  Finally by Tuesday I had to admit defeat.  I was having difficulty breathing and even the slightest exertion left me short of breath.  Hitting my wall physically also took an emotional toll.  I have been doing so well.  How could I come undone now?  And how would I keep going?  What if I couldn't keep up with the training?   I wondered if this was the end.  Yes, a bit melodramatic I know, but despair creeps in quite quickly when I think I don't measure up.

I was able to make the conscious choice to stop all of my activity for the next couple of days.  I didn't play tennis, didn't go to class, didn't do my push ups and sit ups or run or cycle.  I spent time just being quiet and letting my body heal.  By Friday I resumed my push ups and sit ups, but I kept my resolve to not go to sparring class or cycling though I was feeling a bit better.  Due to the holiday, I have additional days off from class and the weather has conspired to keep me off the tennis courts.  Today, I feel almost back to normal. 

So what have I learned?  I need to listen to my body and pay attention.  I need to check in and see how I'm doing, not just plow ahead with whatever is being asked of me.  I need to find balance between the doing and being in my life. I may have to eliminate some of my activities between now and October.  And I need to guard against getting run down and tired.  Proper rest and proper nutrition are key.  I'm not giving up my quest for 5th degree.

This week's numbers:

Push ups :600
Sit ups:     600
Running:  3.01 miles
Cycling:    3.6 miles
Classes: 1 black Belt , 1 private